What A Difference A Year Makes

It's so funny to me to think back a year ago. I had all of these thoughts on what the new year would bring, I was so excited for it and all the new experiences. I was about 5 months pregnant and I think about a week away from finding out that we would be expecting a little Marley. I thought the worst with Jack was over, as we had just made it through his tonsils and adenoids surgery and the 2 week recovery we had from that. How funny.... Life is totally crazy, you think one thing and then reality comes in the door. I feel a lot different about this coming year. I know that I have no idea of what is coming our way, that is one fact for sure. It would be fun to think of what is in store for us, but I think for me this year I will just stop and enjoy the ride. I know I want to show much more appreciation to everyone around me. I know that I totally lacked in that department this past year, due to I think just feeling numb. I feel like a lot of time for me was spent floating by... doing what I needed to to just make sure I got up each morning. But the year ended better than I could have ever expected. The long fall weather helped, and then finally feeling like I was able to enjoy the holidays was also a great feeling, so I'm starting the year with that. Feeling alive, and unfortunately that comes with knowing there was so much gratitude I meant to express to others, so much support that we felt and didn't even know it until now when we can look back. I wish I could express everything I feel to those who were there for us, and maybe one day I will be able to, I sure hope so. But onto this new year, I hope I am ready for it... I will just start by taking one day at a time and loving that and only that, preparing for whatever tomorrow brings but knowing that we will tackle it when the time comes.

6 Months and a Recap

So I can't believe it but Marley is already 6months old!!! Where has the time gone... She is such a sweet baby, only fussy when she is hungry, but sometimes I feel like she totally makes up for it when she gets that way.... If you heard her you would know you would think the girl was starved, but alas - I like using that word, alas- she is weighing in at a whopping 18lbs 8oz. and I think most of it is in her thighs.. they are so darn chubby and cute, when she got her shots I wondered if the medicine even made it to her blood stream as it had to get through her chubby muscular thighs... I say muscular because I have been kicked a few times by excited little legs... Oh but she is the calm in a world of craziness.. With a brother who has no fear and would like to climb up everywhere, and an older sister who just loves the fact that she can get her brother to do the craziest things we need a Marley... She is sitting up, rolling everywhere and laughing/smiling all the time. Jack is a sweet big brother, he will try to giver her her binkie when she cries or offers his bottle to her when he knows she is hungry it is so wonderful to watch. and Elle is the perfect big sister to both, she loves making trouble but she is such a wonderful helper, and she is growing up so big so fast. Here are some recent picts... enjoy!!

Here is our sweet 6 month old!!

We have seen Santa about 3 times and this was the best picture of Jack and him.... You can see the fear in his eyes... I'm talking about Santa ; )

Elle, wait no this is Marley, no it has to be Elle... nope it's Marley..... Oh my heck she looks just like Elle did...... It's official they have the same parents

This is how we found Jack the other night.... it looks so comfortable...

Elle is afraid of Santa at first but give her about 5-10minutes and she is ready to let him know what she would like this year.... she is always telling me that we can't forget Mrs. Santa, and I can't agree more

She is my picture taker... she loves to strike a pose....

And this about sums up how much Jack wanted to take pictures.. the little stinker... he does smile all the time but these faces make me laugh!!

Little Victories

So I might have shared this before, but I found it to be something that is so true in my life... The day we were driving home with Jack after his open heart surgery, there was just this huge feeling of relief, we were going home, it was a beautiful day, and our little boy was so happy in the back seat... I took this deep breath in and just let it out.... and Steve said yeah this is one of those little victories. and I was like little are you kidding me?!?! but then he followed it up by saying how its just one of many victories to come, because we all know there will be more trials and there can't be just one victory, there has to be many little ones along the way..... now the success of Jacks surgery is at the top for sure of our victory list and it was not little at all, but its there in our book of little victories, and with that being said we had another little victory this past week, and I'm sure we've actually had many since the surgery, but this one was a really good one... Lately I've just been lost in knowing what I can do to get Jack to eat "big people food".... he is stuck on that stage 3 baby food and his milk and when I say stage 3, I'm just talking about like the sweet potatoes, not the turkey and veggie dinner ; ) He just will not go for the bigger chunks and anything new that I try to put in his mouth he just lets it sit on his tongue or he uses his tongue to shoot it right back out of his mouth... even the fast dissolving stuff, he just will not take it... and I have my moments when I am determined to do this - to get him off the baby stuff and on to other things but then I always give in when after many attempts it doesn't happen... We finally got an OT coming in to help us with this, and after our first eval. I just felt like "what have I done, I have totally let him fall behind." In my mind I was just waiting for him to make the decision, something I sort of learned with Elle was that she would do it when she was ready... like potty training, crawling etc, etc etc... So that has been my mindset with Jack, but I think about it now and I'm like is this something that has now put him way far behind... and I know I should have requested to get an OT in and working with us sooner, but again pretty much since April we have been on surgery mode and new baby mode and didn't really focus much on Jacks eating habits. The good part is that he is very healthy, he is growing like a weed and he is amazing when it comes to his weight and height, so its not like this was something that was hurting him nutrition wise.... so now to make my point HE ATE MACARONI AND CHEESE....(clapping and cheering) it was blended up mind you but he ate it, after a few/many tries and getting him distracted we did it and he ate it and by the end of the meal I didn't even have to distract him. It felt so good, it may not seem that big to many, but it was one of the top of the list little victories for us..... we will have to see what happens next, but for now we'll take what we can from this one and try something else....

November

So we are to the end of November, and I have to say I have absolutely loved November. Which is a total shock to me.... I always had this little thing against November, it always seemed like the month where everything looked dead and the world was just waiting for the snow to cover it all up. But this has been a beautiful month. If every November could be like this one was, it would be my favorite month. The leaves stayed longer this year and the color stayed almost the whole month. We had the crisp feel of autumn, with out the bone chilling cold of winter. We did get some snow, but it was mixed with rain and then followed up by a nice sunny fall day. And finally in these last few days we got that first big snow, the one that tells you its time for winter, but it was time, and now it has been a perfect transition into winter. I was dreading the snow that I thought was coming at the end of October, I was not ready for it and the thought made me start to get a little depressed, so when November swooped in and saved the day by providing a perfect mix of weather, that depression slipped away and now I am ready for the snow.... I loved November so much and just thinking of this past month, although it was crazy busy, it was one that I will remember, it was the perfect way to say goodbye to fall and hello to winter...

The last Kick

I have to admit, I started my last post with not really a true thought that BYU could win this year... I always want to cheer for them but lets be honest, this has not been their year... so I went in with no high expectations, but was totally shocked when the cougars came out looking soooo dang good... It was a great game, up until the last play that allowed the U to win, but I can't say anything bad about it I loved watching it and was so excited for that last kick... Better luck next year!!

Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra Goooooooo COUGARS!!

Thankful

I couldn't even begin to share the many things I am grateful for this Thanksgiving. I am full - that is the best way to put it.... I look back on all that our family has been through and I just can't express how thankful I am. There have been many times that I have caught myself in that moment, when you are asking why, why me, why us? and I have come to the point of knowing that finding out that answer would be useless because the reason for having that question shapes me into the person I am, into the family we are. And I love it. It is so hard and it has made me so tired at times, and question so many things, but once you get out of the dark you can take it in and see where you are and what you have overcome..... I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!