A Moment of Reflection

So the house is quiet and I wish I could sleep but for whatever reason I'm not that tired... So my head starts to have just a million thoughts. The first that comes to mind is of the Medical Profession... in the past month my feelings and thoughts have gone back and forth. I get so frustrated when a "professional" just labels my son because of a diagnosis. So after stating many times that "No" that is not something my son has even though others may, he does not, they finally move on. But then as I see how well Jack is doing from this past surgery, and I don't hear what we considered a normal phlem sound anymore and he sleeps even better than I ever thought, I am just so grateful to the surgeon and staff that helped our little guy...
Then from there my mind for whatever reason moves to how I feel so many times on Sunday. You see there was a little girl born just 1 day after Jack, and for whatever reason I feel like I see this little girl every Sunday, and for a moment I think of what my little man would be like if he hadn't had Downs, how he would probably be walking, and talking a little bit and snacking on crackers or some form of "real" food. And after that brief moment, I look down at Jack and see how truly blessed I am. Here is a perfect child, who brings so much joy and laughter and life into our family. Who is so innocent and loving that I can't even comprehend it at times.. Who is here to teach me patience and what is really important in life. From there my mind drifts to my little girl, who shows me everyday how not-so-little she really is... I see how much she so adores Jack. How much she just soaks him in and how much he is in awe of her. I wonder how she will be as time goes on and she understands more about him. In my heart I know she will never see him as different, she will forever see him as her brother and that is all. I also think of this new baby on the way and how he/she will be. I pray for a protector, someone who will always be there to include and to watch out when I cannot. I have so many ideas and feelings of the whole situation, some of fear, some of how much hard work this is going to be, but then always I see the love of this family, we were put here for each other to learn from and to support and as I see us from the outside I see what a wonderful gift I have been given, with each different personality comes a piece of our puzzle that fits perfectly... We were meant to be together for a reason and at the end of the day I can't sleep sometimes because I am so overwhelmed with gratitude....