So We Are Having A.......

It's official we are having a little girl!! Elle is going crazy still, and we told her yesterday. She came into our room this morning at like 6:30am and said Mom we have so much to do today, we have to go to so many stores and get some gifts for my baby sister.... it was way cute but way early in the morning. When I told her yesterday, she started jumping up and down screaming Jack we are going to have a baby sister, and she hasn't stopped saying it. I have to admit I was a little shocked. Pregnancy wise I had feelings like when I was preg. with Jack and Elle, so I couldn't really tell, but my mind kept saying that I think it is a boy. I guess I just imagined this little/big brother watching over Jack and just being right there, little did I know that there is another plan in store for us and our family. And after seeing Elles reaction everything felt right, and I know that this little girl and her big sister are going to be the best friends ever of a little boy that will be sandwiched in between them. It's exciting and I just can't imagine all of the new drama that will be brought into our house, it will for sure be something to blog about : )

Pictures, Its a Love/Hate Relationship

So I got back from a really great trip in Colorado, tons of fun and really great memories.... I'm so proud of my dad, I loved hearing stories about him and seeing him get emotional just made my heart pound, I almost lost it a million times. But the greatest thing is all the pictures that were taken... (I say that so sarcastically) I mean I love having pictures to remeber so many things, but you see being pregnant and being me don't create any kind of beautiful shot. I used to think i looked good pregnant, then I would see a picture and be brought back to reality. My whole body blows up, like from my head to my feet, and you so see it in every picture. I see so many other women who are just the picture of perfect pregnant women, two are in my family, Denise and Erika, they both just looked the same with big prego bellies. Me on the other hand have a blown up face to match the blown up belly and in the last month or so of the adventure I have blown up legs/ankles to go with the rest of the package. With Jack I didn't think it was that bad, until a month and a half after I had him we had a family reunion which of course pictures were taken and i looked huge...still So with my dads retirement I got to be in many photo opps, which again going out I felt I was looking ok, then seeing everything I just want to scream, but such is life I guess... The sacrifices we moms make for our children, right ; )
Anyhow, that was my vent session.. tomorrow we go and find out what we are having, I know a lot of you probably would not find out, I mean we already have a boy and a girl, but I am not the patient kind, I have to know.. maybe I just won't tell anyone... yea right!

A Moment of Reflection

So the house is quiet and I wish I could sleep but for whatever reason I'm not that tired... So my head starts to have just a million thoughts. The first that comes to mind is of the Medical Profession... in the past month my feelings and thoughts have gone back and forth. I get so frustrated when a "professional" just labels my son because of a diagnosis. So after stating many times that "No" that is not something my son has even though others may, he does not, they finally move on. But then as I see how well Jack is doing from this past surgery, and I don't hear what we considered a normal phlem sound anymore and he sleeps even better than I ever thought, I am just so grateful to the surgeon and staff that helped our little guy...
Then from there my mind for whatever reason moves to how I feel so many times on Sunday. You see there was a little girl born just 1 day after Jack, and for whatever reason I feel like I see this little girl every Sunday, and for a moment I think of what my little man would be like if he hadn't had Downs, how he would probably be walking, and talking a little bit and snacking on crackers or some form of "real" food. And after that brief moment, I look down at Jack and see how truly blessed I am. Here is a perfect child, who brings so much joy and laughter and life into our family. Who is so innocent and loving that I can't even comprehend it at times.. Who is here to teach me patience and what is really important in life. From there my mind drifts to my little girl, who shows me everyday how not-so-little she really is... I see how much she so adores Jack. How much she just soaks him in and how much he is in awe of her. I wonder how she will be as time goes on and she understands more about him. In my heart I know she will never see him as different, she will forever see him as her brother and that is all. I also think of this new baby on the way and how he/she will be. I pray for a protector, someone who will always be there to include and to watch out when I cannot. I have so many ideas and feelings of the whole situation, some of fear, some of how much hard work this is going to be, but then always I see the love of this family, we were put here for each other to learn from and to support and as I see us from the outside I see what a wonderful gift I have been given, with each different personality comes a piece of our puzzle that fits perfectly... We were meant to be together for a reason and at the end of the day I can't sleep sometimes because I am so overwhelmed with gratitude....

One Thing At A Time...

So I have finally taken down all of our Christmas Decor.. I have been so tired that every time I would start I would only get a little done and then I was done for the day : ) But it's down now and life is good.... This weekend I will be going to Colorado for my dads retirement party, and the kicker is that I will have no children going with me - except for the one in my belly... The thought of that is so weird, as I have always had at least one child with me, so not having either one of them is just going to be really strange. I know Steve will be fine with the kids, but I also know it is going to be hard for him, so I guess I will try really hard to make the beginning of this week easy on him. Honestly though it is going to be hard for me too - I will miss them all to pieces!!

2010

So pretty much after Jacks surgery our house went into Zombie mode, it was a long 2 weeks of recovery, with Jack being just the sweetest little guy coming through like a champ! Oh the difference in him now is like night and day, and thinking back to all the stress and craziness it seems like a million years away, so as the new year has come it seemed to me like a big breath of fresh air, like I felt renewed and ready for this next year. I haven't gotten on the ball and made resolutions, I sort of feel like if I do I need one to be to make sure I keep my resolutions... I make them and then forget about them after a few weeks or months have passed and life has rushed in, but then maybe if I made other types of resolutions like to make sure to laugh more this year or make my family laugh more then those ones for sure I can mix in with life.... so I guess I will think on that maybe in the next post I will have something for you... I will for sure post pictures of our fun times these past weeks : )